For the first time since August 22, I’m glad I don’t own an iPhone.

According to this short New York Times article — which I read while not quite properly caffeinated, so forgive me if I misinterpreted it — AT&T sent unsolicited text messages to many millions of its customers urging them to watch the season premiere of American Idol.

Worse, the company’s spokesdouche is adamant that it was the right thing to do.

It’s no secret that I’m not a fan of American Idol, which, in my humble (read: smug but correct) opinion is only a step up on the TV ladder from its lowest rung, America’s Funniest Videos. (And I hate AI not only because it blatantly panders to the lowest common demonator with its reliance on audience participation, trite popular music and Paula Abdul, but because it has absolutely ruined karaoke by causing people to try too hard.) But AT&T’s decision to send a text promoting such a hideous show, which it sponsors, isn’t as disturbing as what’s sure to follow: carrier-approved text-message spam. Something I would be against even if my carrier was informing me that a TV network would soon be broadcasting a long-awaited boxing match between Gary Coleman and Emmanuel Lewis.

But yeah, I’d still really like an iPhone. Maybe next birthday. Which as everyone must know by now is August 22.

It’s 18 degrees here in Brooklyn, a sure sign of the impending apocalypse. And yet it’s 46 degrees warmer here than it is in the hellmouth that apparently is Minnesota.


6 thoughts on “Spokesdouche

  1. I’ve always felt that karaoke is pretty good once in a while when you’re wasted and no one is really trying. But maybe that’s because I’m always wasted and never try.

  2. You must be a special patron of At&T (or one of their selected favorites). I didn’t get any spam from them (thank God, oh I would be angry for that reason!) As far as temperature, did you look at Friday’s forecast? I looked, and then tried not to think about it.

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