No New Tale to Tell

My mom, whose house in Grand Rapids I just dominated for three weeks while she was traveling Europe, just told me about the “tipsy Jewish lady” she met at a cooking class in Italy who would unleash off-colored jokes at her classmates. This one’s pretty funny:

Jewish person: Oh, it’s the holiday season. We always start by blowing the shofur.
Gentile: You people really know how to treat your help.

And now for something completely different:

I’m finally back in Brooklyn, six pounds heavier and not a bit wiser and quite happy to be reunited with my cat, George, the most awesome feline in the world. (Yes, I’m part of the now infamous trend, which continues here as well.). I only just now realized that I have neglected to post my landmark interview with John Hodgman, who is a genius. (I am not: I initially spelled that word genious.)

If you somehow haven’t heard, Hodgman has added a new arrow to his quiver of smarty-pants projectiles with his just-published book More Information Than You Require, which he swears is not a sequel to, but a continuation of, his 2005 book The Areas of My Expertise a la The Two Towers vis a vis The Lord of the Rings — which, it must be noted, is a bona fide sequel to The Hobbit, although that is inconsequential. I just wanted to mention The Hobbit because it currently feels underrated in the wake of Peter Jackson’s adaptation of The Lord of the Rings (which is actually a film trilogy) and that ain’t right. Anyway, enjoy — and check out Hodgman’s book, because where else are you going to read the words “SHE WAS NOT HIGH ON PEYOTE AT THE TIME” in reference to Queen Isabel? Besides right here, I mean?

WHY I’M ANGRY TODAY
I still haven’t gotten around to writing about the My Bloody Valentine reunion, or the ATP Festival in upstate New York, or the Boston Spaceships show (great album, by the way), or my trip to Michigan. But I can reveal that I ate but one pizza sub from JT’s while in Grand Rapids. However, I gorged on Chili’s three times.

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