Two names came to me this morning as I made myself a delicious cup of piping hot beverage. The first was Martha Raye, actress and denture wearer. Take it from a big mouth, Martha is not a pleasant image in the morning. The second immediately followed: Madge the Manicurist, she of “You’re soaking in it” fame. These two hags are forever linked in my mind, in the same way that I can’t think of Barry Manilow without imagining a large metal spike being hammered into my skull.

WHY I’M ANGRY TODAY
I’m still not the most famous John Sellers. If I had to guess, I’m probably number three, but possibly as low as five or six. Two definitely ahead of me, and possibly out of reach, are the gospel singer and Dylan crony Brother John Sellers and the activist John Sellers. Then there’s some dude in California who owns the rights to sellers.com, and who apparently has a fetish for roses; and there’s also this guy. My goal: I just want to get famous enough for Amazon to quit confusing me with the author of Foxing the Witch.

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