One final missive from my mother about the bread, and then we’re done with that bloated saga. In her defense, I should note that the postage wasn’t entirely “skimped on.” She spent $6.05, which could have bought her a couple of issues of Country Living magazine. Furthermore:

What do you mean I skimped on postage? I sent the loaf from the GR Post Office downtown, making a special trip there from Cascade. They told me it cost $7.(sic)

Well, excuuu-uuu-uuu-se me! And a second blistering note from my mother:

John, the past tense of “to shit” is “shat,” not “shit.” I am sorry to be so scatological, but I think you should get your tenses right! So . . . to conjugate: I shit today. I shat yesterday. I have shat in the past. It’s sort of like “spat” or “begat,” two words I’m sure you use quite a bit.

My mom kinda rules, doesn’t she?


A week later, I still haven’t gotten around to posting my tribute to Rodney Dangerfield. No respect, indeed.