Well, I moved my car. And it rained. So I’m hoping the bird crap problem gets sorted. Speeeeeaking of crap, I happened to catch a little bit of The Swan last night. Take a bunch of hideous women—on the outside! they’re ugly on the outside! not on the inside where it counts! actually, some of them must be pretty gross on the inside, too, or they wouldn’t be taking part in this hooey. but I digress—give them some plastic surgery, and then make them compete in a beauty pageant to prove their worth. My question is, shouldn’t this be a competition benefitting the plasic surgeons? I mean, they’re the ones who are doing all the work here, and from the looks of things, they’ll have to do quite a lot of work. Wowsers, that’s some ugly shit. (On the outside! Jeesh!)

WHY I’M ANGRY TODAY

Again with this: The Detroit Tigers, who lost 119 games last year, won yet again. They’ve started this season 4-0. I refuse to be angry again until they lose, which might be never.