I got a car wash on Monday, but to my dismay, I seem to have parked under a tree that must have been a roost for some seriously diarrhea-prone birds. My Corsica is coated in droppings! Now I have a choice: Give in to the birds and get another $8 car wash, or tell them to suck it and wait for it to rain. The cheapskate that I am, I’m definitely opting for the latter. I don’t have the heart to break it to my Corsica, though, the poor bastard.

WHY I’M ANGRY TODAY

See the above. But not even that could piss me off too much. The Tigers are 2-0.

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