The unpacking is in full gear, and it has revealed a lot about me. 1) I’m the type of guy, apparently, who thinks the beads he earned at Mardi Gras were important enough to save for eleven years. 2) I once strongly believed that Star Wars—Episode I: The Phantom Menace collectibles were going be worth money someday. 3) I am not very concerned about lint and dust bunnies mingling with my favorite possessions. 4) I was really into Entertainment Weekly from 1998-2000, as I saved every single issue, including five that featured horse-faced Julia Roberts on the cover. 5) If you give me a broken electronic product, I will most likely hold onto it just in case the Broken Electronic Product Fairies feel like getting some work in while I sleep. 6) I like photographs of places I can’t remember ever visiting. 7) I am an avid hoarder of golf balls and golf tees, even though I haven’t played golf in four years. These revelations about my character make me laugh—or laff, as I prefer to spell it on rainy days—but they’re also making me take note of the ever-shifting sensibilities of AJS. Did I really once favor a collared shirt that I can now joyously describe as Rorschach-y? Yep. Did I once write down all the lyrics to the rap song “Funky Cold Medina” in pencil on a loose piece of college notebook paper and deem it worthy enough to keep for 15 years? Unbelievably, yes. I still have a dozen more boxes to go through. If there are any tantalizing results, I will mention them on Monday or Tuesday, when I will of course also comment on this Sunday night’s TV disaster-to-be: The Nick & Jessica Variety Hour. Thank you, ABC!

WHY I’M ANGRY TODAY

The point is moot. The Tigers are still 4-0!

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