What TV show’s on my mind today? The late, not-so-great Nick Freno: Licensed Teacher. You know how crappy the WB is right now, right? Well, you’d have to multiply its current stinkiness by fourteen majillion to arrive at the correct value of its P.U.-iness in 1996 when this stinkbomb debuted. The show was something of a ’90s version of Head of the Class, only without any kind of actual humor or that really annoying brainy girl who talked like a robot. Somehow Freno managed to last two full seasons with no charm, no jokes and no ratings; it lasted longer than four of my favorite shows: It’s Your Move, Twin Peaks, Freaks and Geeks and (I suspect) Arrested Development. But what it did have was that excellent, colon-wielding title. Many notoriously bad shows could be improved by a colon. Becker: Crappy Sitcom. Whoopi: Painful Comedy. Reba: Uh, Why? Try it!

WHY I’M ANGRY TODAY

Nothing could make me angry on an opening day of baseball where the Detroit Tigers win 7-0.