Walking on a Thin Line

If you’re like me, there are some mornings you can’t help but think about Peter Cetera. The falsetto-voiced former Chicago frontman, who contributed to The Karate Kid, Part II the saccharine ballad “The Glory of Love” (never to be confused with the far superior “The Power of Love” by the far superior Huey Lewis and the News), wrote some of catchiest terrible songs of all time. The one that got me going today was “Next Time I Fall,” his mushy 1986 duet with disturbingly hot crossover Jesus freak Amy Grant.

The chorus is disturbing if you think about it. The lyrics exclaim “The next time I fall in love/It will be with you.” What a charmer old Petey is! What woman wouldn’t kill to hear that from a guy they’re getting it on with for the first time? It’s as if he’s saying, “You know, you’re great and all, but I’m just not ready to fall in love. But when I do, it will be with you. Promise, m’kay?” And what if this chick he’s gushing to doesn’t really even like him that much (not hard to believe considering this is the dude she’d be looking at)? Isn’t that statement tantamount to stalking? Either way, it’s a bit ballsy for a bowser like Cetera to be so aloof.

Well, here’s the video. I love how the person who posted this on YouTube calls it an “awesome video,” which is pretty much the opposite of the truth. Make sure to read the comments.

I stepped on my glasses. They broke.