Here’s what I learned last night while hanging out with my pal Adam Sachs:

1. Gin is the devil. I got blotto to the bejeezus on liquid Satan — why?

2. Sachs not only writes with his hands, as John Hodgman memorably claimed in a classic Saturday Night Special zine manifesto, he also cooks pasta with them.

3. Ground pepper, on its own, tastes bad, very, very bad. For reasons unknown to me today (see #1), I ended the night by putting a pinch of ground pepper into my mouth and swallowing. It makes no sense.

WHY I’M ANGRY TODAY
I’m incapacitated on a lovely day.