The lineup for this year’s Coachella Festival was revealed today and for the first time in years, I have zero interest in attending. In fact, I dare say that you’d have to fly me out there, put me up at a nice hotel AND pay me $1000 to attend. There’s not one band among the 100 or so listed that I’d be interested in checking out in a festival setting. Maybe the Breeders — but I can see them at Bowery Ballroom in April. Maybe Love and Rockets — but I was never really a huge fan. Maybe Turbonegro — but I saw them at SXSW last March. Maybe Stephen Malkmus — but he’s gotten a bit noodly. Maybe My Morning Jacket — but not in 100 degree weather surrounded by morons. Indeed, the lineup is most perplexing. Not sure whose bright idea it was to give headlining spots to both Jack Johnson and Roger Waters. I mean, seriously, whose idea was that?

Maybe all the great indie bands have been reserved for this so-called Coachella East that I’ve been reading about on the hipster blogs? Like, say, My Bloody Valentine?

I have to wait six days to see another episode of The Wire.