Well, looky looky what LucasFilm just announced: The Star Wars trilogy is being released on DVD this September. But how lame, I say. What we’re been fed isn’t the high holy trilogy at all, but instead the fucked-with version in which Greedo shoots first. Says LucasFilm spokeswoman Lynn Hale: “The official definitive versions are the 1997 special editions. That’s the version the artist, in this case George Lucas, intended to be seen.” Okay, fine. But if Lucas had intended for Greedo to shoot first in the 1977 masterpiece Star Wars, then he would have shown Greedo shooting first. That was not the artist’s intent at the time, however.

WHY I’M ANGRY TODAY

I just remembered the fucking scene in Return of the Jedi where Boba Fett is eaten by the Sarlacc and the darn thing burps. So embarrassing.

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