In the interest of time, I must lay down a quote from Official Denial, surely one of the best awful movies ever attempted, in which Parker Stevenson and Erin Gray befriend a ridiculous-looking alien. The extraterrestrial sums up my busy day when he says, “Please do not communicate with me today. I feel their life force.”

WHY I’M ANGRY TODAY

I’m really tired of the post-cougar Kimberly Bauer on 24; that new ‘do has to go, and I find my thumb hovering over the mute button every time she appears onscreen.