In honor of the evening, here are my five favorite moments from 2007:

1. September 18: Wake up at 2:30pm. Eat leftover mac & cheese in sweatpants while watching TiVoed episode of The Pick-Up Artist.
2. August 6: Tough-looking black guy in a do-rag nods at me as I walk by and says “Wassup?”
3. February 22: On my half-birthday, coffee hut worker gives me free coffee before being told about the half-birthday thing.
4. December 4: Do five sit-ups!
5. June 16: Realize that “baboon” is the funniest word in the English language.

WHY I’M ANGRY TODAY
It’s 7:53pm on New Year’s Eve and I haven’t had a drop of alcohol yet.