I shall now begin my appraisal of THE TOP 50 WORST TV SHOWS OF ALL TIME.

First, the rules. To be eligible, the show must be live-action, unless it aired on a major television network during prime-time. Thus, The Simpsons is eligible and Barney & Friends is eligible and Land of the Lost is eligible and Saved By the Bell is eligible, but DuckTales and The Monchhichis are not. Rationale: too many Saturday morning and afterschool cartoons would make this list otherwise; that wasn’t fair to borderline Top 50 shows like Manimal. Sooner or later I’ll get around to a list about hated things relating to cartoons, and you have to believe that Scrappy-Doo and Snarf will be on there.

Second, a few words about how these shows have been ranked. The phrase “doing the most damage” is a huge factor. Like, Dancing with the Stars may technically be a more unwatchable show than American Idol, but DWTS wouldn’t have made it to air without American Idol, and therefore American Idol will rank slightly higher. But nothing trumps old-fashioned shittiness. And where two equally shitty shows are compared, the one that was or has been on the air longer will almost always rank higher.

Finally, this list is subjective. Obviously.

And now Nos. 50 through 50 (why only one entry? No time. And bad meat! The rest will be spilled out over the next week or so):

NUMBER 50: Small Wonder (1985-89)
How this low-budget syndicated sitcom, about a robot named V.I.C.I. (a.k.a. Vicki) and the goon of a scientist who created her, lasted four years is something that only V.I.C.I. herself could tell you.

WHY I’M ANGRY TODAY
I stepped in dog crap.