The Detroit Tigers are 3-0! Yesterday, the Bengal Bombers smacked seven homers. So far this season they have cranked 15 taters (although none of them have been hit by pitcher Jordan Tata — but only because he has zero at bats). Which means they are on pace to go 162-0 and hit 810 home runs. I don’t think it’s news to say that both of those stats would be Major League records. What is news: The Tigers will finally get back to the post season in ’06 for the first time in 20 years. You heard it here first.

WHY I’M ANGRY TODAY
The one-armed girl who served me dinner at a local pizzeria last night just drove her minivan into the dolly being used by some movers parked outside my apartment. Here’s what I heard from one of the movers: “Whoa! Whoa! Hey! You hit my dolly!”