Guess who! Well, I’m back. Sort of. Actually, not at all. I am checking in to urge all of you stop it with the bomb threats, to stop it with the hiring of gay clowns to kick me in the nads, and to stop it with the sending me of supertasty cookies that have gooey milk chocolate chips in them. I’m fat as hell already, people.

I am not going to post regularly at this point. I am a wee bit drained. (I’m also drained of wee at the moment. More on that, well, never.) But I have appreciated the minor outpouring of concern — though, really, quit yer whining. I will attempt to figure out what I want to do with this blog over the next few weeks. A molting process may occur.

It took me a half hour to determine that I’m not really mad about anything!