Yet another winner from “My (First) Book of Stories by John Sellers,” a drawing/writing hybrid I composed in the third grade:

“The Great Hunter”

Once there was a fox and she caught a mouse. She fed it to her family. Their house was in a tree. So she has to climb up the tree and get back into her hole with her family and eat. She’s caught about 100,000 mice before. She’s caught about 700,000,000 birds before.

[AJS note: I’m pleased that there were no grammatical or spelling mistakes — just errors of logic (700 million birds?). The drawing shows the mother fox with a gray mouse in her mouth approaching the fateful tree. But, jeez, where’s the drama!? Why doesn’t the mouse get away or at least create some havoc before the little foxes eat the fuck out of it?]

WHY I’M ANGRY TODAY

There’s an Egyptian proverb that says the three worst things in life are: 1) to be in bed and sleep not; 2) to want for one who comes not; and 3) to try to please and please not. I would like to add a fourth: 4) to squeeze the ketchup bottle on your hot-dog bun but to have the red watery stuff come out first, thereby making your bun soggy and gross.