Lacking any sort of creativity, I’ll give you yet another poorly written essay from my youth, this one from November 1, 1983:


When I am very hungry I love to pig out. When I am not hungry, I don’t, though. My favorite food are pizza, hamburgers, tacos, and submarine sandwiches. The food we eat most is pizza and then steak. When we go out to eat, I like to go to Mr. Steak because I love their hamburgers and potato skins. My favorite drink is cherry coke at Farrell’s. Farrell’s has ice cream and food. When I go there, I get a banana split and a cherry coke. Their French fries are good also. McDonald’s is another good restaurant. I like to eat there at breakfast and get an Egg McMuffin or two. My mom’s cooking is about as good as a restaurant’s but I would rather spend money at a restaurant than eat at home.

[AJS note: Wow.]


I have “Hey Ya!” stuck in my head again.