New worst show on television: UPN’s Game Over, a sitcom set in the world of video games. Man, what a huge, heaping portion of horse-shit we were fed during last night’s premiere. The mother is a Lara Croft-type; pops drives virtual race cars. After the game’s over, though, they head to a typical suburban sitcom home in a neighborhood full of digital characters—karate champs, Grand Theft Auto goons—where they engage in banter so bad, so head-slappingly “I coulda had a V8!” that I was unable to watch more than fifteen minutes of it. (And I’m the target audience!) But is it maddening or just sad that it took four guys to write the script, which focuses in large part on the daughter’s desire to buy her first bra? I’m gonna go with sad on this one.

WHY I’M ANGRY TODAY

Got this stuck in my head while tidying up after lunch: “Oh, you ain’t got a thing, if you ain’t got that cling—do wrap, do wrap, do wrap, do wrap, do wrap!” How am I supposed to work now?