Although it’s doubtful anyone noticed, I recently censored some stuff I’d written a few weeks ago about a bad habit I picked up last year. After further reflection, I realized that I had gone against everything Angry John Sellers stands for. I’d turned this space into a confessional, the worst blogger sin possible. I’m very sorry to have done that. I’ll understand if you’re apoplectic with rage, but please note that I am in sackcloth and ashes, and am preparing to wash your feet with my hair. Won’t you come back to me? No? Well, how ’bout some hot-crossed buns? Will that sweeten the deal? And what’s this behind your left earlobe? Ooh! A Funyon! I got more where that came from. Okay, then: see you tomorrow.

WHY I’M ANGRY TODAY

I saw an honest-to-god albino today.