By the way, the reason I’ve been talking so much about drinking is that I’m holding out hope that some big beer corporation—Miller, say—will see the profit potential in being the official sponsor of Angry John Sellers. Instead of drinking “beers,” hell, I’d be drinking “Millers.” Okay, I don’t see any profit potential for them, either, but isn’t it pretty to think so?

WHY I’M ANGRY TODAY

During the first third of my insanely delinquent first viewing of Lord of the Rings: The Return of the Kings, the couple sitting behind me made more noise chewing their popcorn than a herd of drunk gnus.