Some loose ends sutured up like a lacerated scrotum: I received my Patagonia winter coat this afternoon—fits, is warm, isn’t puffy—and Wednesday I will publish the results of my recently ended experiment of documenting my alcohol intake during the calendar year 2003. Tomorrow, though, I will publish a treatise on why baseball pundits are total assholes, and it has everything to do with Pete Rose.

WHY I’M ANGRY TODAY

Pete Rose still isn’t in the Hall of Fame.