I love the smell of Oklahoma in the morning! Oklahoma: its sky as blue as a frostbitten baby’s bottom and East Coast-style hoagies as generous as a Thai kick boxing referee; Oklahoma: where dawn’s early light comes in the guise of a dog barking incessantly in the apartment below, and noon creeps toward you like a hungry Jeffrey Dahmer. Oh how I’ll miss it when I’m gone, which I already am.

WHY I’M ANGRY TODAY

The passing of time and all its sickening crimes.