It’s Mardi Gras. Well, la-di-da! Oh, to be in N’awlins, where eleven years ago my friends Beaneater, DJ Philly Phil, C.B. and I had the following exchange with an insanely cute stripper named Ivory:

Us: So, are you in college?

Stripper: No, but I’m applying to schools.

Us: She’s applying to schools! She’s applying to schools!

Earlier, in the throng of heathen monkeys, we’d met a hot gal from Manchester, England, whose name was Melanie and whose friend, dancing vacantly nearby, was so hepped up on goofballs that he was unintelligible. She explained, “He’s an artist and a painter, don’t you know?” And I think we all know what that means.

WHY I’M ANGRY TODAY

No heat in my apartment again last night. That boiler’s got me all boiled up!

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